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| Re: mid-life mom....only child syndrome? [message #2060 is a reply to message #2057 ] |
Tue, 31 May 2011 21:23   |
 Tamara E
Messages: 371
Registered: April 2005
Location: South |
Senior Member
Administrator |
IP: 98.81.52.50 |
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Christal, I remember wondering the same thing before our youngest was born. Our oldest four were so close in age and had built-in friendships so even during the time we lived in an isolated area with no neighbors, they didn't lack for companions. Then the next two who came along were also close in age to each other, so they were best buddies for years. I kind of felt sorry for our youngest who would miss out on having a sibling close in age. (There were over ten years better #6 and #7!) YET I knew that GOD knew what He was doing and could be trusted in this, too! 
Truly, it hasn't been a problem at all! In fact, my husband and I were just talking about this very thing last night. In many ways, it has been like bringing up an only child, but our youngest also has the blessing of so many special relationships with each one of her older siblings, too. Even though she might not see some of them as often (since they now have homes of their own), there's that special connection.
In fact, one of her big sisters (who is 17 years older) has given up an hour of her time almost every single night to play a game with her. From 7 to 8 p.m., you'll find them both at the kitchen table playing a board game and eating a "night-night snack". This has been going on for several years now! What a blessing it is for both of them.
Our youngest has many of the positive characteristics sometimes found in only children:
-- She has always played well alone
-- She's creative and imaginative with more ideas of things to do than time to do them all
-- She's very bright and thoughtful and loves being involved with her much older members of our household. You can tell by talking to her and listening to her that her main influences have been adults, not peers. (In a positive way! ) Yet, she has plenty of time to be a child, too, with lots of attention. I don't think it's necessary for children to spend a lot of time with peers, especially when they're young.
-- She helps her dad in his business (my dh works from home) by telling him when he gets a new fax, runs errands for him, etc.,
-- She adores hanging out with me, doing crafts together, baking cookies, walking the dogs, running errands, and chatting about anything and everything.
-- We enjoy homeschooling and have more freedom about when we do things because it is SO MUCH EASIER to homeschool one child than multiples. We can be really flexible!
-- She is crazy about animals and our small inside dogs are wonderful buddies who, in some ways, take the place of siblings.  She loves training them to do tricks and plays ball with them, etc., (We have a poodle, a maltipoo, a lab, and a border collie, plus one cat. )
--She has had benefits and advantages that her older siblings didn't have --just as they had benefits and advantages she hasn't had. There are things we were able to afford for her that we couldn't for her older siblings. I've had more one-on-one time with her. She's had more time to spend with my dh, too, since he works from home now and has for most of her life.
--She's had more mature parents and has benefited from that, too! We've learned a lot the past 30+ years!
I am convinced that the Lord uses all the circumstances for His glory and for the good of each child and that He has beautiful unique plans for each one of them! Our youngest has a lovely life within a loving family, uniquely designed for her by the Lord! So did our older six! I can honestly say I've treasured each one of them as gifts from God!
Well, those are just a few of my rambling and random thoughts! I'm sure you will see how wonderfully your child will embrace the different circumstances in being the youngest, too!
Oh, by the way, I have NEVER done play groups. It's just not my thing at all. For one thing, I don't think I'd have much in common with all those young moms.  I don't think they're necessary at all. (But I know some people just like to do that sort of thing and that's fine!)
Praying for you and your precious growing baby!
Blessings,
Tamara (mom of seven; grandma to two so far!)
"There is always enough time and strength to do the will of God"
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| Re: mid-life mom....only child syndrome? [message #2064 is a reply to message #2063 ] |
Sat, 04 June 2011 16:05 |
Jamie
Messages: 38
Registered: May 2011
Location: NE FL |
Member |
IP: 98.224.62.127 |
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I've had some of the same thoughts cross my mind. In fact, my "baby" is 19 and already out of the house. My eldest is 21 and likely will only be here for another year (she plans on living with us until she marries...that could change, or the engagement could be announced sooner or a wedding planned by the time this child has his/her first birthday). Just the thought of having a 7 year old sibling available would have been soothing for me. I'm concerned - it really does truly feel like I'll be raising a second family where sibling bonds won't be the same. It's one of the reasons when we headed into this direction that I campaigned for my husband to allow us to adopt soon after. He was on board with that all the way until a week after we discovered we were pregnant...now it's "we'll see" and it has sent me into a bit more of the only-child syndrome thinking which you've shared.
Peace
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| Re: mid-life mom....only child syndrome? [message #2065 is a reply to message #2064 ] |
Sun, 05 June 2011 02:29 |
Tamara E
Messages: 371
Registered: April 2005
Location: South |
Senior Member
Administrator |
IP: 98.81.82.197 |
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Jamie, I'm sure the Lord has the perfect plan for your little one, too.
Blessings,
Tamara (mom of seven; grandma to two so far!)
"There is always enough time and strength to do the will of God"
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