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Week 25: Eggplant & Belly Rubs [message #2127] Sun, 18 September 2011 14:28 Go to next message
Jamie  is currently offline Jamie
Messages: 38
Registered: May 2011
Location: NE FL
Today I'm 25 weeks and 3 days along (102 days to go!) -

While I don't feel the baby any stronger than before, he's apparently able to move external objects now. Sitting with my laptop last week on one leg, the baby gave a little kick (or hit, or headbutt) and the computer jumped away from me. With the placenta in front it is very difficult for Franklin to feel him move unless he himself is perfectly still and holding his breath. It's odd to me that the baby can be so hard to feel, but can be that strong.

I've tried to be positive about being pregnant. It hasn't been too difficult to do. However, I finally get the complaints about having our bellies rubbed.

This is my fourth first in 19 years. I don't really recall belly-rubbing being an issue with me (or being all that frequent, or even happening by strangers) with my first three pregnancies.

I've never felt the compulsion to rub another woman's pregnant tummy, either, for that matter, though I understood it to be a sign of affection or good luck or something along those lines. Walking around, I pretty much have been guarding my stomach (rubbing or patting I guess myself or just holding it...which I think sends off a "no touch" barrier). I'm not a hugger person, either, so perhaps this was subconsciously keeping me from having to have physical contact with acquaintances and strangers? Last night, however, was different.

I was at a church pot-luck event - sitting at picnic style seating, when all of a sudden...while I'm in the middle of a discussion with the man sitting directly across from me and with my husband at my side.... I'm approached without warning from behind, an arm encircling my waste, wide palmed and swishing from bottom to top my entire belly....and it keeps going even after I instinctively jump and say "Oh my G-d you scared me" and then tried to place my hands - protectively again - but couldn't because of the rapidity of this old woman (and the old woman in particular has always given me the heeby-jeebies - I know that sounds mean, but it is true), her other hand locking the shoulder opposite. She was going all over the place, talking in my ear, and asking if she could feel the baby move. I said no, and (she's a retired nurse) said that the placenta is blocking any external feeling of movement...and she kept going.

Hand to G-d....when others have stated that they were approached, I never imagined a prolonged..well...belly groping and the feeling of just being trapped. I figured be blunt or something if it happens, but I was totally taken by surprise, felt uncomfortable and trapped, and could not think of one thing to do that wouldn't be read as even *ruder* or more hurtful than what she was doing. The fellow in front of me mentioned that it was uncomfortable to watch, my husband said if it had been a dude it would have been a punching (she was seriously just missing my breasts) - but they both, too, were flummoxed by the situation. My husband acknowledged how I felt about not knowing what to do but having my verbal cues and body language unheeded by the woman, stating that what was a momentary inconvenience and irritation for me is better than the deep hurt the woman would walk away with had I been all "get off me!"

I think I could handle a brief pat by people I know, but that left me feeling molested (and I know that this is over the top, but maybe that is the hormones, and maybe that is why the touching thing is such a big deal that should be respected as a no-touch zone). My own MIL hasn't done more than a quick two-pat on the middle of the tummy.

Re: Week 25: Eggplant & Belly Rubs [message #2128 is a reply to message #2127 ] Sun, 18 September 2011 15:23 Go to previous message
Tamara E  is currently offline Tamara E
Messages: 371
Registered: April 2005
Location: South
Senior Member
Oh...that made me feel uncomfortable just reading about the belly-rubbing experience you had, Jamie! I've never had a problem with that (meaning, no one has done that to me), but I would not be comfortable with that either! Hopefully, you can head her off next time if you see her coming.

I always hated for people to come up and touch my baby once s/he was born, too! (I kind of wanted even people we knew well to at least wash their hands first, you know? Wink )

Ahhhhh babies!!!! So adorable at every stage! (But maybe we could hang, "look, but don't touch" signs on us and them? Laughing )

Tamara (mom of seven; grandma to two so far!)

"There is always enough time and strength to do the will of God"
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